Inside my shoes goes inside my head

By Tammy Malgesini

Staff Writer

Published on January 11, 2017 10:31AM

Sometimes I think I think too much.

Simple things can get my head twisting and turning — like why aren’t birth control pills dispensed in childproof containers? Or what are the names of the two people in a “Pedestrian Crossing” sign?

But one thing that occupied a lot of space in my mind recently is the packaging of products.

Over the holidays, a box of Gudrun chocolates appeared in the newsroom’s kitchen. The thing that intrigued me was the intricate packaging.

It came in a lovely silver case (box is too simple for the elegant craftsmanship, which even featured a magnetic strip to hold the flap down). Inside were two glorious trays of candies.

A brochure included a three-paragraph description of the process of making chocolates — from choosing the right cocoa beans to the development of recipes. It ended with the simple word, “Enjoy!”

Back in the day, Candyce Lukens, a former boss, would push her fingernail into the bottom of a piece of candy to determine what was inside. Those techniques aren’t required with Gudrun.

The insert featured mouth-watering descriptions of each piece of candy — complete with a color photos.

Each morsel of deliciousness had its own name — including Twinkle (pistachio with hazelnut pieces) Seabreeze (a layered truffle with salted caramel) and Cocorico (milk chocolate with coconut ganache). I’m licking my lips as I type.

Speaking of coconut — I recall the time my good buddy Marko Briley mistakenly started to eat some “flakes” of paper. The error was understandable — he’s legally blind. But, the bigger contributing factor was the packaging.

This, also, was a box of chocolates. The pieces of candy were lying in a bed of what appeared to be gourmet coconut flakes. The paper actually looked like and had the consistency of coconut.

However, Marko said it didn’t taste like coconut. I took his word for it.

It certainly doesn’t make sense to package gourmet chocolates in a bed of paper.

Oh, and by the way, I named the people in the “Pedestrian Crossing” signs — Pedestri-ANN and Pedestri-ANDY. You’re welcome!

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Tammy Malgesini is the community editor. Her column, Inside my Shoes, includes general musings about life. Contact her at tmalgesini@eastoregonian.com or 541-564-4539.

Nighttime chocolate feast leads to salt water assault

01/20/2010

Jeter recuperates in the hallway after being treated for eating chocolate.

Nighttime chocolate feast leads to salt water assault

By TAMMY MALGESINI

East Oregonian

He was sicker than a dog.

It all started when Jeter, my German shepherd, decided to get into my cache of chocolate. It ended with him laying with a forlorn look on his face in the hallway at home. Between those two snapshots in time was an adventure I don't want to repeat any time soon.

After getting off work just in time, John and I went to the Umatilla Vikings basketball game, even though I hadn't eaten dinner yet.

By the time we got home, I was very tired and quite hungry. I had just settled onto my daybed with what apparently was a very tasty Healthy Choice roasted turkey breast dinner. After I had eaten a couple of bites, John came upstairs to ask me something.

As he walked into the doorway, Jeter jumped off our bed from the adjacent room wearing a sheepish look on his face. Jeter sleeps on the bed, so it's not unusual for him to lounge around on the waterbed; however, the look on his face said "I've been a bad dog."

When we discovered he had eaten a bunch of Hershey's Kisses and chocolate Santas, tin foil and all, John and I sprung into action. After calling the after-hours number for Oregon Trail Veterinary Clinic, the doggie doc said we could bring him in or try to induce vomiting ourselves.

I headed to Walmart to find some syrup of ipecac. I figured it would be easier to get a little of that down him, rather than a whole lot of salt water.

I started to panic when I couldn't find the spew syrup - the window of opportunity to get the pooch to puke was closing in and I really didn't want to pony up the extra cash to take him to the vet clinic at that late hour.

While frantically searching the aisles, I called Shawn Carvalho. Since she was asleep, I asked her husband if they had any syrup of ipecac - explaining it's used to make people throw up.

They didn't, however, within moments Shawn called me back. I told her what was going on as I continued to search for the elusive elixir.

Hearing the panic in my voice, she stayed on the phone with me - even as I headed to Fiesta Foods.

When a store employee offered assistance, rather than risking a language barrier or unfamiliarity with ipecac, I asked for Pepto Bismol. I figured if I got to the right aisle, I could find it. When she led me directly to the pink stuff, I told her I didn't need it. I could hear Shawn laughing over the phone as I explained what I really needed.

She said they didn't have it, but rather than giving up, I attempted to read the labels. Meanwhile, Shawn had gone to an English-Spanish translation Web site and helped me decipher items on the shelf. After finally determining my quest for ipecac was fruitless, I bought a large container of salt and drove home.

John mixed some up and I proceeded to suck the solution into a bulb syringe and squeezed it into Jeter's mouth.

After several cups worth he coughed and sputtered and produced a very small amount of vomit.

That would never do.

After adding more salt, I continued to assault my dog with the briney solution. All of a sudden he broke lose from John's grasp, took a few steps and hurled a pile. He took a few more steps and barfed again.

With a headlamp shining from his forehead, John followed the heaving hound around the yard - picking up the puke so Jeter or Lucifer, our German shepherd puppy, wouldn't eat it later.

The salt water was so successful, John couldn't keep up. I followed Jeter around the lawn, tossing a paper towel on each pile. When John started to gag, he reminded me Jeter was my dog, so I took over pick-up duty.

As I continued puke patrol, I soon discovered chunks of turkey, stuffing and carrots intermixed with the chocolate and tin foil wrappers - evidently the chocolate was merely an appetizer.

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Tammy Malgesini is the EO community editor. Her column, Inside my shoes, appears twice a month. You can reach her at tmalgesini@eastoregonian.com or 541-564-4539.