Column: I am the junkin’ queen

It may be junk to you, but it could be a Christmas gift or next week's wardrobe for self-confessed junkin' queen.

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By TAMMY MALGESINI

Inside my Shoes

Published on October 27, 2015 9:53AM

During my teenage years, I was mortified if my mom wanted me to go into a thrift shop.

She didn’t find the logic that if I was in the store and someone saw me in the store, then they were in the thrift store, too. Well, as everyone knows adolescence isn’t logical.

Today, we laugh about this because I’ve turned into a junkin’ queen. I love finding good deals — in fact, other than my unmentionables, everything I’m wearing while penning this column was purchased at thrift stores, yard sales or other similar excursions.

They include some funky Chuck Taylors, Old Navy cargo shorts and a Nike T-shirt emblazoned with Hermiston Cross Country. Oh, and my Burton snowboard jacket is hanging on the hook. The grand total of this outfit, jacket included, cost me less than what the sneakers go for retail. Score!!

A twist on junkin’ is what I call Lester Pattoning — the act of obtaining unclaimed, discarded or mislaid items.

I was introduced to this through my husband, John. He gained knowledge and techniques from Les Patton, a man whose family befriended my husband when he was in his late teens. Les, John said, was the king of stopping in the middle of the road to pick up items that had parted ways with their owners.

Over the years, John and I have benefited from Lester Pattoning in the form of several pairs of medical scissors, a dog leash, a thermal hoodie, a rock hammer, a tire pressure gauge, a leveler, softballs, Frisbees, sunglasses, Reebok slides (even in my husband’s size), snow gloves, goggles, baseball hats, a jacket, T-shirts, stocking caps, sweatshirts, two cases of wine coolers (with only three broken bottles), flashlights, a case of English mark darts, a KA-BAR knife and sheath, all kinds of tools, a roll of bubble wrap, a coupon for a free ice cream cake at Dairy Queen, paper money (from $50 to $1 bills) and more loose change than we can count (best find, a 1919 dime).

My parents also have been the recipients of Lester Pattoning — even before it had that name.

Tight on money, my parents still wanted a real tree for Christmas. During the family outing headed to buy a tree, a truck hauling a large utility trailer overloaded with Christmas trees was in front of us. Then it happened, a slight gust of wind lifted a tree up and gently placed it on the fog line.

“Pull over, pull over honey,” my mom exclaimed. “God delivered us a Christmas tree.”

And, an item I obtained via Lester Pattoning found its way under the Christmas tree with my mom’s name on it. During a pit stop for our dogs on a road trip to Idaho, I found a cool rock and beaded necklace.

There is was, laying amongst random items (10 pairs of underwear, a bra, some shirts, a box of rice, a box of crackers, ChapStick, three books of matches from the Coeur d’Alene Casino Resort and a travel cup that said, “I Choose the Road Less Traveled ... Now Where the Heck Am I?”) scattered near a department of transportation rock pile.

Dang,

I should have snagged that travel cup, my mom’s birthday is coming up.

Tammy Malgesini is the community editor. Her column, Inside my Shoes, includes general musings about life. Contact her at tmalgesini@eastoregonian.com or 541-564-4539.

Fall leaves can be fun, even for adults

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By TAMMY MALGESINI

Inside my shoes

Published on October 14, 2015 6:24PM

Growing up. I often was excused from home and garden tasks.

I conveniently used the excuse of my allergies and asthma to get out of doing things I didn’t enjoy. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that fall leaves can be fun.

So, before you get set to rake ’em and bag ’em, have some fun with the colorful and crisp leaves that are blowing across your lawn like a snowdrift.

A number of years ago, Suzanne Tosten and I felt bad for Terri Dorran because she didn’t have any trees in her yard. Terri was missing out on the joys that fall leaves ultimately bring.

Dressed incognito for a Halloween party as Wayne and Garth of Saturday Night Live, Suzy and I set out to enrich Terri’s life with a blessing of leaves. Oh sure, we could have gone across the street to the park and raked and gathered leaves, but that would have taken too much effort. Instead, we went to then Hermiston Mayor Frank Harkenrider’s house and removed several of his large decorative lawn leaf bags.

Back at Terri’s house we emptied the bags, creating a blizzard of leaves. It was awesome fun.

Terri’s son, Mitch, was thrilled with the colorful blanket in their front lawn.

“Look mom, look at all the leaves,” he exclaimed with the innocence of youth. “They must have blown over from the park.”

Of course, we couldn’t just steal Harkie’s leaves and call it good. So, a few nights later, we collected the leaves from Terri’s place. Then, on the way to Harkie’s house, we had another bright idea — let’s collect additional lawn leaf bags and set them up in a football formation. (Note: I’m sure the statute of limitations has passed regarding the theft of said leaves, but just in case I want to remind you about something called creative license).

Anyway, along with the three bags we had snagged from Harkie’s lawn earlier, we gathered an additional eight bags between Hermiston and Highland avenues. Back at Harkie’s place, we set up a basic T formation.

With my husband’s gimpy foot and fall in full swing with the leaves starting to fill our yard, I’m likely going to be the one raking and bagging this year. By the way, can someone tell me where Mayor Dave Drotzmann lives? (Also, for your information, many area cities provide its residents with a card or coupon to dispose of yard debris, including fall leaves, free of charge at local landfills. Contact your city hall for details).

Tammy Malgesini is the community editor. Her column, Inside my Shoes, includes general musings about life and runs every other week in the Hermiston Herald. Contact her at tmalgesini@eastoregonian.com or 541-564-4539.