Delta Dawn I ain't

2/17/2008

Inside my shoes: Delta Dawn I ain't
By TAMMY MALGESINI
The East Oregonian

Despite the fact I can't carry a tune and typically only sing in the privacy of my car or the shower, the East Oregonian's Chief Photographer E.J. Harris talked me into performing karaoke at The Hut Restaurant & Lounge in Pendleton.

He told me to truly delve into my story, I really needed to experience it.

Before I knew it, I was signed up to sing Helen Reddy's hit, "Delta Dawn."

Even though I wasn't too keen on the idea, I kept wondering when my turn would come up. It seemed like an eternity passed before Barb Bonson called my name.

"They're back, are you ready?" she asked.

I turned to see not only E.J., but also Dave Sager, EO deputy managing editor. Little did I know, as I continued to conduct interviews, E.J. slipped out and picked up Dave and asked Barb to hold off calling my name until they arrived for my debut.

As I walked up to the control panel, I began to have second (and third) thoughts, but figured at the very least this made E.J. and I even for a previous prank I pulled on him.

I knew I was in trouble when DeeAnna Dickinson told me they had three rules. As she began to rattle off the expectations, I suddenly panicked. With attention deficit hyperactive disorder, I have a difficult time with multiple directions.

"Number one, don't touch the buttons: Barb has all the power - she will turn you on. Two, don't put your hand above the rubber," DeeAnna said as she motioned to a rim at the base of the mic. "And three ... blah, blah blah."

My capacity for new information was maxed and I had no idea what rule number three was. Thinking it might be relevant, I asked her to repeat it.

"It's a directional mic, so sing from the top and not the side," she said.

In retrospect, it may have served me well to have ignored that one - then people couldn't have heard me.

Afterwards, as I walked back to the table, people politely clapped.

I asked E.J. what he thought.

"You were right," he said regarding my singing inability.

I then asked Dave, who politely said, "You got a very big applause."

However, this was none too comforting since I had already been told people clap either because you're good or they're glad it's over.

I looked Dave squarely in the eyes and said, "Remember when I was brutally honest with you about why you're not married yet when you were doing that column? I want you to be honest with me."

"Voice lessons wouldn't hurt," he said.

Based on this experience, I have no idea what possessed me to try another song.

However, the other patrons encouraged me and Barb said now that she knew what key to use, it would be better. Yeah, that was comforting - I knew it couldn't be worse.

After an hour I found myself singing "Dark Lady," by Cher.

E.J. said it was better than my first song and Dave gave me a thumbs up.

"That was your song," Dave said.

Dave suggested I ask EO sports writer Justin Chartrey, who also had dropped by, his thoughts.

"I don't want to be interviewed," Justin said.

Then I asked Lance Zodrow, one of the regulars, what he thought."So, should I keep my day job?"

"You should keep your day job, but keep doing this - you're entertaining," he said.

Ah, yes, I'm part of the family now.

*****
The copy desk edited part of this column due to space in the print edition. When I first asked Justin what he thought I had a hard time hearing him. When I said, "What?" E.J. said, "He said, 'I don't want to be rude.'" Justin quickly disputed E.J.'s interpretation.
*****
This comment was posted on the EO Web site:
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2008 Article comment by: DeeAnna Dickinson
You did a great job Tammy. and it only gets better. we really enjoyed having you there, hope to see you again!
*****
Against my better judgment, I did do it again. In honor of Sager's going away party, I (attempted) to sing, "Bang, Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down" by Cher.

Then the next day when the song came on the CD player in my car I called Dave's desk line and sang on his voice mail. Because nothing is sacred in the newsroom, it was promptly played on speaker phone for all to hear.