I'm just not quite right

10/1/2008

Inside My Shoes: I'm just not quite right
Humor really is the best medicine
By TAMMY MALGESINI
The Hermiston Herald

As a journalist, not all the stories are fun and fluff. I've been face-to-face with gang bangers - angry because I was doing a story on a shooting. I've talked to families who have lost a soldier at war. I've gone to houses engulfed in flames, not knowing if the people got out. I've been at the scene of accidents where people are one shallow breath away from the afterlife and I've sat in memorial services - trying to detach my emotions and refrain from focusing on why this person was taken way too early by cancer or drowning.

I have found over the years - both as a journalist and in previous careers, including as a drug and alcohol therapist, residential provider for adults with developmental disabilities and a counselor for at-risk adolescent girls - that I use humor as a way to deal with the stress of human situations.

I'm not normal. There I said it. For those of you who know me, that's not some big revelation. For those who are getting to know me, heed the warning. Although in my defense, I do put the skates on when needed.

Several years ago I was visiting with a group of women. One lady was sharing about her current medical situation. She said, "I don't know if it's terminal ... we won't know until after the autopsy."

I bit my tongue, but my head was exploding ... I wanted to say, "Well, if they're doing an autopsy, it's pretty much a done deal."

In that situation, I knew it would be more sensitive to keep the thoughts in my head.

Several years ago after reading "Sick Jokes, Healthy Workers" in Psychology Today, I felt comfort in knowing that my twisted sense of humor served to save my sanity.

I had told my boss at the time, Charlie Carnes, who was then head of the Umatilla County's Alcohol and Drug Program, about what studies showed about people with dark humor like mine.

"The sicker the wit, the better," the article said.

Charlie responded, "You must be the healthiest of all of us then."

I'll never forget that and I wear it as a badge of honor.

So when a recent cover story in Psychology Today was titled, "Typically Twisted" I had to quickly turn the pages to find out if I'm still healthy. A psychologist at South Florida University confirmed I'm still right on track.

"Having a laugh in the face of death or extreme hardship can certainly have a place in healthy coping," the psychologist was quoted as saying.

So, although my sense of humor may seem to be a little on the dark side - it serves me well. Reading such articles confirms that my twisted - and sometimes morbid - sense of humor is what helps me maintain focus and sanity when faced with human tragedy.
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Tammy Malgesini maintains her sick sense of humor at The Hermiston Herald. Readers can contact her by calling (541) 564-4539 or via e-mail, tmalgesini@hermistonherald.com.